adoption · family · infertility

Setbacks Pave The Way For Comebacks

A few months ago, on my daily drive to my oldest’s school, we passed a sign on the side of the road.  It was a sign in front of a church.  It was not a church I attend, nor even a religion I consider myself to be.  Yet the message struck me just the same.  And reminded me that there is a common core in many religious beliefs.

Now I am not here to write about religion, God, or faith.  I am not interested in communicating what I believe, do and do not agree with or attempt to defend my ways of including religion into my (and my family’s) heart.

But this message, letters on fluid sign in front of this church, was a message that I drove past for weeks.  And it made me smile each and every time.  It is long gone, the letters on the sign have changed, and none have struck me nearly as this message had. But that message has been fixed in my mind.  And many times when I drive by the church to this very day, I briefly smile at the message that was sent. Probably not on the days I am running late, arguing with my children, breaking up fights in the back seat, or going over my TO DO list that constantly wreaks havoc in my head. But still, many times!


These words may not have meant much to me at a different time in my life.  But several months ago, when I first read them, all I could think was “OH MY GOD (yes, I believe I did use the word GOD on that particular day), that could not be more true!!!”

Setbacks are not always the huge, enormous, terrible, life changing setbacks one may first consider.  But a setback, what ever that may be to you, is still a setback.

The year of 2015 was a bad year for me.  It was difficult.  It was sad.  It was honestly a year that could go down as one of my worst.  I lost hope in our desire to have our fourth child.  My body was not well after all of the stress, worry, medication, trauma, and did I mention STRESS of infertility.  It was HARD!  It was a setback.  And although at the time I could not have known what was ahead.  I look back now and truly do believe that 2015 was part of my life for a reason.  2015 paved the way for a “COMEBACK”.

We will adopt a child, a child will have a forever family, because of our setback.  Yes, adoption was long something Mike and I discussed and considered.  But our setback of 2015 brought us to the present.  It is what pushed us to know that the timing was right to leap into the word of adoption.

And this message reminds me of the stark difference between last year and this year.

But it has meant more to me than just a comparison between our low of last year and an uplifting 2016. We all have setbacks. They may be seemingly minor or possibly not even appear to be a setback to an outsider.  But they are setbacks just the same. And while is is difficult to think of the way being paved.  And it is, at times, nearly impossible to dream of the good and the change that will imminently occur.  The COMEBACK will arrive.

Just think.

Had I not had the setback of losing all my wheels on my SUV to some scumbag thief, I would not have FOUR lovely brand new tires (that I PRAY…ya this definitely deserves a prayer…do not get demolished by New England’s famous POT HOLES this winter).

Had I not had the setback of major changes and rearrangements happening at work, I may not have had the “push” to finally go for my dream and enroll in school to become a lactation consultant.

Had I not had the setback of stress and worry overtaking last year, I would likely not have found the bliss of yoga, meditation and healthy eating and would not be feeling physically better than I ever have.

Had I not had the setback of the hoards of RABBITS eating every last bit of our vegetable garden (minus tomatoes, potatoes and basil) this year, I probably would have been too busy weeding and caring for my plants and missed out on some of the most fun parts of our “best summer ever”!

And of course, had having children been easy for Mike and I, had we gotten pregnant immediately and quickly thereafter, we would not have the exact three perfect children we have and we would not be waiting for BABY CHINA!

You get the idea here! We can COMEBACK from SETBACKS. Just be patient.  The way is being paved.





2 thoughts on “Setbacks Pave The Way For Comebacks

  1. Mike and Lisa, what a wonderful testimony and you are spot on. I used to have a saying posted on the fridge while Chad and Brian were growing up that was a quote from Vince Lombardi …”It’s not about whether you get knocked down, it’s about whether you get back up again”. I pointed to it whenever they felt a setback on any level. For you, just knowing that any setback only leads to a comeback will be all you need to lead a mentally healthy life. Pass it on to little China… he already has one helluva comeback waiting for him, thanks to you. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. well written lisa everyone has setbacks,its how you recover from them. you and mike are strong and determined and if all goes well with baby china this could be your big turn around. say hi to the kids love always uncle rich


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