This post is not exactly adoption related, but humor HAS to be a part of the amazing but stressful and long adoption process. Laughing is so important and healthy! And I recently was introduced to the wonderfully, humorous website of cartoonist, Adrienne Hedger.
I was able to relate to so many of her cartoons, that I can’t help but create a post on the “HOUSEHOLD MYSTERIES” specific to the Fitzgerald house!
Please humor me and add to my list in the comments section!
20 MYSTERIES IN THE FITZ HOUSEHOLD
- Why is the missing sock only found the day after I finally throw out the straggling match that was sitting in my laundry basket for six months?
- How do the females in our house possibly have any hair left on our heads? I mean the hair on the floor and in the vacuum has to equal an entire head, NO???
- Why does an ENTIRE glass of grape juice get spilled on the floor exactly 2.6 seconds after I just finished vacuuming and steam-cleaning the entire floor?
- How does my middle child ALWAYS ALWAYS forget to flush the toilet? I swear we have taught her that toilets are to be flushed.
- We have five people in our house, leaving me with a 20% chance of the toilet paper running out when I am the one in bathroom. Why, then, has it been ME that it runs out on for the past 1.273 times?
- Continuing on the BATHROOM topic…it is an AMAZING and FAMILIAR MOM PHENOMENON, I am aware, but really…it only takes me about 20 seconds to pee, how is it possible that at least 2 of my 3 children need me immediately EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to get this 20 seconds to myself? “Moooooooooooooom…”
- Why is there an cereal box with TWO Cheerios left in it? Did you really not have room for TWO more cheerios in your bowl??????
- It would likely take you 1.4 seconds to hang the towel on the towel rack. In fact, it probably takes just as long to drop it on the shelf under the towel rack. SO…why is the towel NEVER on the towel rack?
- If I want/need the kids to get up early, forget it, they are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired. But if I would give anything for them to sleep late, why are they ALL awake at 6:02 AM????
- Where exactly does all of our Scotch Tape go????? I mean I wrap Christmas presents with it once a year and a few birthday gifts throughout the year. So where the heck are the 400 inches that were left when I put it back last?
- This is along the “can’t pee without a kid needing me” scenario. But how is it that when Mike and I RARELY decide to watch a movie, before we can even see the title pop up onto screen, one child needs is immediately HANGRY, the other just fell down a flight of stairs and the third swears she just saw a ghost? I am pretty certain Mike and I have NEVER watched a red box movie for only a one-night fee.
- Why does at least one child ALWAYS have to pee when we are in Target? Have you SEEN the bathrooms in TARGET?????
- Why do children not have a volume button? And the trick that people recommend with toys, to put packaging or duct tape over the speaker, why is this not acceptable to do with the children?
- What is so complicated about a tube of toothpaste? Enough said…
- How does a toddler (or 6 year old for that matter) LOVE a food so much once day that he/she eats it for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack….then the very next day throw a tantrum at the sight of this same exact food?
- How does my four-foot, barely 70 pound eleven year old fit THAT MUCH FOOD into her stomach?
- What is that smell??? Seriously, I know that you know what I am talking about. That smell, that you JUST CANNOT find the source of? I swear it’s in the fridge, but its not. The garbage, nope. WHAT IS THAT SMELL????? Who hid what where???? A shoe, rotten broccoli, a dead animal? What is that funky smell?
- How do I always ALWAYS miss those “insanely important, I cannot miss it” phone calls? My cell phone is near me most of the day, so how is this even possible???
- How can I be so insanely, about-to-fall-on-my-face-TIRED at 8:00 PM but be wide awake and full of energy by 8:30 when I am in bed? (yes, I said 8:30 and IN BED, don’t judge!).
- We have 697 pens and 422 pads in our house, so WHERE IN THE NAME OF GOD is one pen and one measly piece of paper when I so desperately need it?
I would be willing to bet I can offer a part-two on a future date! HA!