adoption · family

Hurry Up and Wait

Who can’t relate to the familiar saying “Time Flies When You Are Having Fun!”? And just as true, time seems to stand still when you are waiting. I think back to history class in high school. That. Clock. Didn’t Move. But I’ll tell you, take me on a summer camping trip to Maine and that week is gone before I can blink! When we are having fun our mind is occupied and we rarely turn to look at the clock. We are not waiting for the next moment because we are enjoying the present moment to its fullest.

If only I could have embraced US History as fun, enjoyable and exciting. Maybe those 45 minutes would have been over faster than I could have named the original thirteen colonies (you don’t honestly think I know these 13 colonies, do you?).

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It didn’t take us long to realize that committing to adoption meant committing to waiting. You feel a sense of urgency in each step and milestone, only for you to realize much of this is not in your control.

I am a planner. I am a list-maker. I am an organizer. I am like my dad. When something needs to get done, I get it done. Otherwise, this task, urgent or not, will pop into my head 50,000 TPH (times per hour!).  Okay, I am not QUITE like Dad, right??? I mean he runs out to pay the Kohl’s bill, in person, literally 27 seconds after Mr. Mail Man delivers it. I am not that bad. Although……..Mike IS the one who pays the bills.

So it’s not a ginormous surprise that I have adoption to do lists.

I have a well-organized, thoroughly-sorted adoption binder, complete with pockets, separators, clips, copies and labels.

I have my adoption emails in a separate folder with color-coordinated “flags” for each one.

When I have a task to be done, I work on it.

I get it done.

AND. THEN. I. WAIT!!!

Because most of this is out of my hands. I drop off the medical forms to my doctor, and I wait for them to be filled out. I order vital records and an updated passport and I wait for Mr. Mail Man to deliver them to me. I mail the paperwork to get a CORI check and child abuse clearance, and I wait for them to be sent to our agency. I email a list of questions to our very patient, helpful, and possibly soon-to-be-sick-of-emails-from-Lisa F. agency workers, and then I wait for the response. I give Mike his to-do list and I wait, and wait! (and wait…😜)!!!

And…this is just our WAIT for one of our first milestones…a complete home study and dossier! And…once the home study is complete, and we are, therefore, so so close to completing our dossier, we then have to file for immigration approval through USCIS, which we have heard takes TWO to THREE MONTHS!

Let’s not forget that we are not currently matched with our precious LITTLE yet. That, too, we wait for.

And even once we are matched, we are not able to travel for many more months, so again, we will wait.

But I have done my fair share of waiting in my days. And I, in some unexplained way, am very much enjoying this WAIT.

I can vividly think back to being 40 weeks pregnant with Anastasia. I was ready. I was inexperienced. I was impatient. I stopped working WAY TO SOON. I was bored. Of course, she came a few days later and those long long days of waiting were a distant memory. Fast forward 5 years and as ready as I was to meet Danika, I can distinctly remember that I had learned my lesson. I may have been eager for her birth, but I embraced the slow passing of time to savor my life with just Mike and Anastasia.

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I am not pregnant. But still, I am waiting for our hearts to fill with a child. I wait, just as I did with my three littles when they grew inside. This child is ours. We may not know who he or she is. But there is a higher power which reminds us that this child is already known. Our LITTLE has likely already completed his 40 week wait, listening to his precious birth mother’s heartbeat from the inside out. Our child is miles and miles away, but he or she waits, just as we do. We do not yet know our child, but somehow we are together even as we wait.

So, as I continue to wait, I also continue to slow down. I embrace every moment I can with the family and friends we are so fortunate to have by our side. I smile with my littles every day (not every moment of every day….but at least every day!). I laugh and I have fun.

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We will walk through this wait, rather than sprint or even run. Just as I always enjoyed so very much the 9 months in which I helped my three children to grow inside, I am enjoying the time it will take to bring me to that first moment in which I lay eyes on my child.  Yes, we wait. But we wait happily, patiently and eagerly.

Now…I’m off to wait…

Wait for the kids to clean their room.

Wait for the bathroom to be free so I can pee.

Wait for the whining to stop.

Wait for dinner to cook itself.

Wait for  nap time.

Wait…wait…wait

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